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#048
Eric T. Racher
An Agreement
This Agreement is entered into as of (__/__/____), by and between Eric T. Racher, resident at 167 Nieman Street, Akron, Ohio, 44305, herinafter called WRITER, and Whoever you are holding me now in hand, resident at __________________, ____________, ______, _______, hereinafter called READER.
WITNESSETH:
WHEREAS, WRITER composes and publishes in both print and online literary journals throughout the United States and Europe, texts of various type and length including but not limited to poems, essays, fiction, and various extracts thereof;
WHEREAS, WRITER desires to develop and publish a body of work that will secure WRITER’s place in the pantheon of world literature for all eternity, or until such time as the species Homo sapiens and any and all evolutionary successors to the species Homo sapiens capable and/or desirous of aesthetic experience, and in particular that variety of aesthetic experience generally referred as ‘literary’, shall cease to exist upon the face of the earth;
WHEREAS, WRITER has compiled the present Agreement, together with any texts composed by WRITER that may in future be bound within a single volume (hereinafter called BOOK) together with this Agreement, with the explicit aim of contributing to the aforementioned body of work, thereby securing WRITER’s reputation for posterity;
WHEREAS, WRITER, in order to achieve the aim stated in the previous recital, has composed BOOK and all the texts therein in order to produce in READER an aesthetic experience, and in particular, the experience of the Good, the Beautiful and the True;
WHEREAS, WRITER has hereby given READER fair warning before READER attempts BOOK further that BOOK and WRITER are not what READER supposed, but far different;
WHEREAS, READER is desirous of both instruction and delight, and has discovered that the most expeditious means of procuring said instruction and delight is by means of the reading of great works of literature, which are calculated to provide an experience of the Good, the Beautiful, and the True;
WHEREAS, READER is in addition desirous of a reading experience that evokes an emotional reaction of heightened intensity, balances betweeen familiar tropes and dopamine-producing novelty and twists, represents and validates READER’s sense of being and identity and affirms READER’s place in the world, creates in READER a sense of flow by means of effective use of pacing, thereby resonating deeply with the innermost, immortal soul of READER in the primordial glory of its emotional and cognitive splendor;
NOW, THEREFORE, for good and valuable consideration, the receipt and sufficiency of which are hereby acknowledged the parties hereto agree as follows:
SECTION ONE
APPOINTMENT
WRITER appoints READER as a Peruser of BOOK, and grants READER the nonexclusive right to read, underline, highlight, annotate, gloss, comment upon, interpret, explicate, analyze, criticize, critique, study, scrutinize, slog through, skim, reread, dip into, decipher, explain, elucidate, expound, construe, illustrate, compare, contrast, despise, be perplexed by, be moved by, clarify, commentate, disparage, deprecate, contemplate, put down, cease to read, belittle, love, feel lukewarm towards, asperse, suffer, toss out, burn, throw across the room in dramatic manner, borrow, purchase, steal, take umbrage at, savor, relish, treasure, gaze upon, look at, see, probe, understand, engrave, carve, smelt, permute, form, descant upon, delight in, historicize, summarize, set to music, make predictions regarding denouement of, map concepts and structure of, take a break from, evaluate, close read, engage with, reflect upon, critically assess arguments of, lend to others, form a reading group dedicated to, make photocopies of for personal use only, reject, strain through the mesh of prejudice, produce a symptomatic reading of, ignore, dislike, be wholly uninterested in, create mental models of, and dog-ear BOOK, on the terms and conditions set forth in this Agreement.
SECTION TWO
WRITER’S OBLIGATIONS
WRITER agrees to use WRITER’S best efforts to produce in READER an aesthetic experience that aligns as closely as possible with the experience of the transcendentals known as the Good, the True and the Beautiful. In order to develop the full aesthetic potential of BOOK, WRITER agrees to perform at WRITER’s expense the following obligations to READER’s satisfaction:
A. WRITER shall endeavor to convey WRITER’s ideas clearly, concisely, and effectively, engaging READER in BOOK by means of that which any reasonable person, member of the community of writers and readers at large, would consider to be good writing.
B. WRITER shall utilize literary devices, including but not limited to irony, personification, foreshadowing, flashback, dialogue, soliloquy, stream of consciousness, alliteration and the periodic sentence. These devices shall be deployed by WRITER in a judicious manner, according to established canons of good taste.
C. WRITER shall utilize rhetorical figures, including but not limited to metaphor, anacoluthon, syllepsis, metonymy, litotes, chiasmus, zeugma, diazeugma, paradiegesis, polyaidoiokhairesis, ecphonesis, asteismus, ploce, anadiplosis, synecdoche, hyperbaton, exuscitatio, paradiastole, parataxis, paranomasia, soraismus, triskaidekapolyapoanapistrophronesis, epistrophe, antonomasia and antiphrasis.
D. WRITER shall use an assortment of syntactic structures, including both longer and shorter sentences, and simple, complex and periodic, varying their length and complexity as necessary in order to produce an effect of novelty upon READER’s ear, thereby avoiding any monotony of cadence, which might seem disagreeable to READER, and cause READER to abandon BOOK in frustration or displeasure.
E. WRITER shall maintain at all times a standard of conduct that is consistent with WRITER’s role as the author of the texts contained in BOOK, avoiding any actions, opinions and words, or even the mere appearance thereof, which might be now or at any time in the future considered problematic by, or cause offense in any way to the sensibilities of, a reasonable person from the wider community of readers and writers.
SECTION THREE
READER’S OBLIGATIONS
READER agrees to read BOOK to the best of READER’s abilities by performing at READER’s expense the following obligations to WRITER’s satisfaction:
A. READER shall begin on the first page of BOOK and proceed page by page, paragraph by paragraph, sentence by sentence, clause by clause, word by word and letter by letter until such time as READER arrives at the final letter of the final word of the final clause of the final sentence of the final paragraph of the final page of BOOK, upon the performance of which READER shall be entitled to claim that READER has read BOOK.
B. READER’s conduct shall at all times be such as will reflect favorably upon WRITER and BOOK, and READER shall not engage in any deceptive, misleading, or unethical reading practice.
C. In order to fulfill the obligations stated in Section 3, Paragraph B above, READER shall interpret BOOK according to accepted schools of literary theory as listed in Section 6, Paragraph A of this Agreement.
SECTION FOUR
TERM AND RENEWAL; TERMINATION
A. Term and Renewal. This Agreement shall become effective (the “Effective Date”) upon the date the Agreement is signed by both Parties. and shall remain in effect for a period of five years from and after the Effective Date (the “Initial Term”), and thereafter shall automatically renew for successive five year terms (each such period, a “Renewal Term”) unless terminated by either party giving written notice of non-renewal at least ninety (90) days prior to the last day of the then current term to each other party hereto.
B. Termination for an Event of Default. If at any time during the Term an Event of Default occurs, and the Party in respect of which such Event of Default has occurred (the “Defaulting Party”) has been given written notice thereof by the other Party (the “Non-Defaulting Party”) specifying with particulars the Event of Default and affording the Party a reasonable opportunity (which shall be no more than 30 days from the date the notice was delivered) to cure such Event of Default if it is curable, then this Agreement may be terminated upon written notice by the Non-Defaulting Party to the Defaulting Party, and such termination shall be effective as of and from the date on which the notice of termination was delivered to the Defaulting Party.
C. Termination without Cause. WRITER may, at WRITER’s option, terminate this Agreement upon ninety (90) days prior written notice to READER, whereupon this Agreement shall terminate on a date which shall be ninety (90) days after the giving of such notice, or such later date as WRITER may specify in WRITER’s notice to READER; likewise, READER may, at READER’s option, terminate this Agreement upon ninety (90) days prior written notice to WRITER, whereupon this Agreement shall terminate on a date which shall be ninety (90) days after the giving of such notice, or such later date as READER may specify in READER’s notice to WRITER.
D. Effect of Termination. Upon termination, READER shall cease to be a Peruser of BOOK, and neither party shall have any further rights against the other except for money owed and other rights as by their nature must survive termination of the Agreement.
SECTION FIVE
TERMS AND CONDITIONS
A. BOOK shall be produced by means of a semiotic system S, which consists of (a) a set of signs, hereinafter referred to as the Lexicon of S, (b) a set of natural and social items referred to by the signs which make up the Lexicon of S, hereinafter referred to as the Environment of S, and (c) a set of structures including the syntactic, morphological and phonological rules of S, together with the logical relations that hold among the concepts designated by the signs of the Lexicon of S, as well as the set of relations that bind the members of the Lexicon of S with the Environment of S.
B. Kiss. By stealth in some wood for trial, or back of a rock in the open air, (for in any roofed room of a house BOOK emerges not, nor in company, and in libraries BOOK lies as one dumb, a gawk, or unborn, or dead,) but just possibly with READER on a high hill, first watching lest any person for miles around approach unawares, or possibly with READER sailing at sea, or on the beach of the sea or some quiet island, WRITER hereby grants READER permission by means of BOOK to put READER’s lips upon WRITER’s, with the comrade’s long-dwelling kiss or the new husband’s kiss, for WRITER is the new husband and WRITER is the comrade.
B. Shipment. Delivery of BOOK shall be by means of (a) standard shipping through national postal service, or private courier service, or (b) downloading of an electronic file to be displayed on a device of READER’s choosing. Title and risk of loss to BOOK read under this Agreement passes to READER upon delivery of BOOK.
C. Taxes. READER shall bear all applicable federal, state, municipal and other government taxes (such as sales, use, value added, or any similar taxes); all customs duties, imposts, and similar charges; and any personal property taxes assessable on BOOK after delivery.
D. Warranty. WRITER warrants to READER for a period of 30 days from the date of original delivery to READER that the texts contained in BOOK persuant to this Agreement are free from defects, faults or pecadilloes in syntax, opinion, diction, style, grammar, and punctuation; however, WRITER’s obligation under this warrant is limited to correction of said defects, faults and pecadilloes, and the production of a public apology in both written and audio-visual formats. The foregoing warranty is in lieu of all warranties, either expressed or implied, including without limitation any implied warranty of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose, and of any other obligation on the part of WRITER.
E. Limitation of Liability. READER is fully cognizant that the way is suspicious, the result uncertain, perhaps destructive, and that READER would have to give up all else, as WRITER alone would expect to be READER’s sole and exclusive standard, READER’s novitiate would even then be long and exhausting, and the whole past theory of READER’s life and all conformity to the lives around READER would have to be abandoned, and WRITER hereby confirms that WRITER has advised READER to release BOOK now before troubling READER’s self any further, to let go READER’s hand from WRITER’s shoulders, and to put BOOK down, and depart on READER’s way. Notwithstanding any provision in this Agreement to the contrary, in no event is WRITER liable for indirect, incidental, or consequential damages and in no event may the liability of WRITER in connection with BOOK (whether this liability arises from a claim based on contract, warranty, tort, or otherwise) exceed the actual amount paid by READER to WRITER for BOOK.
SECTION SIX
MISCELLANEOUS
A. For the purposes of this Agreement, the accepted schools of literary theory are as follows: New Criticism, Deconstruction, Psychoanalytic (Freudian, Lacanian, Jungian), Aestheticism, Cambridge Criticism, Russian Formalism, Cultural Studies, Eco-criticism, Marxist Criticism, Feminist Literary Criticism, New Historicism, Post-colonialism, Post- structuralism, Structuralism, Semiotics, Reader Response Theory, Cognitive Literary Theory, Narratology, Descriptive Poetics, Aristotelean Poetics, Thomistic Poetics, Critical Race Theory, Biographical Criticism, Queer Theory, and Leavisian Criticism.
B. Assignment. The rights and obligations of both WRITER and READER under this Agreement may not be assigned or delegated to any third party, be it a physical or legal person or a Large Language Model or similar device for text generation and interpretation, in whole or in part by operation of law or otherwise without the prior express written consent of both parties.
C. Enforcement of Terms. Failure by either party at any time or from time to time to enforce any of the provisions of this Agreement shall not be construed to be a waiver of that provision or of the party’s right to subsequently enforce each and every provision of this Agreement.
D. Attorney Fees. In the event that any action is filed in relation to this Agreement, the unsuccessful party in the action shall pay to the successful party, in addition to all sums that either party may be called on to pay, a reasonable sum for the successful party’s attorney fees.
E. Titles and Subtitles. The titles and subtitles used in this Agreement are for convenience only and are not part of this Agreement and do not in any way limit or amplify the terms and provisions of this Agreement.
F. Counterparts. This Agreement may be executed in two or more counterparts, each of which is deemed an original, but all of which together constitute one and the same instrument.
SECTION SEVEN
NOTICES
Notices and other communcations under this Agreement must be in writing and mailed by registered or certified mail, postage prepaid, to the parties at their respective addresses specified in this Agreement, subject to the right to change their addressses by written notice.
SECTION EIGHT
GOVERNING LAWS AND DISPUTES
A. This Agreement, and performance or breach under this Agreement, shall be governed and construed both as to procedural and substantive matters in accordance with the applicable laws of the City of Akron, Ohio. WRITER and READER agree that if any action is brought pursuant to this Agreement that is not otherwise required to be resolved by arbitration pursuant to Section 8, paragraph B, such dispute shall be resolved only in the Akron Municipal Court.
B. Arbitration. Any dispute, claim or controversy arising under this Agreement shall, at the request of any party hereto be resolved by binding arbitration in Akron, Ohio by a single arbitrator selected by WRITER and READER, with arbitration governed by The Akron, Ohio Arbitration Act (Title 9, Akron Code). Such arbitrator shall be a disinterested person who is either an attorney, retired judge or literary relations arbitrator. In the event WRITER and READER are unable to agree upon such arbitrator, the arbitrator shall, upon petition by either WRITER or READER, be designated by a judge of the Akron Municipal Court. The arbitrator shall have the authority to make awards of damages as would the Akron Municipal Court, the sole court having jurisdiction over any dispute between WRITER and READER, except that the arbitrator may not make an award of exemplary damages or consequential damages. In addition, WRITER and READER agree that all other matters arising out of READER’s literary relationship with WRITER shall be arbitrable, unless otherwise restricted by law.
SECTION NINE
ENTIRE AGREEMENT AND MODIFICATION
Effective upon the Effective Date, this Agreement supersedes, revokes and replaces any and all prior oral or written understandings, if any, between the parties relating to the subject matter of this Agreement. The parties agree that this Agreement: (a) is the entire understanding and agreement between the parties; and (b) is the complete and exclusive statement of the terms and conditions thereof, and there are no other written or oral agreements in regard to the subject matter of this Agreement. This Agreement shall not be changed or modified except by a written document signed by the parties hereto.
In witness thereof, the parties hereto have executed this Agreement as of the day and year first written above.
WRITER READER
Eric T. Racher Whoever you are holding me now in hand
_____________________ ____________________________
***
Eric T. Racher lives in Riga, Latvia. His work has appeared in Socrates on the Beach, minor literature[s], Exacting Clam, Your Impossible Voice, Literary Imagination, ballast, iamb and elsewhere. His first book, a sequence of sonnets titled Glosses and Ligatures, will be published by Sagging Meniscus Press in the autumn of 2027.
25 May 2026